Article 10: Emotional Numbness and Dissociation

Some people feel overwhelmed by emotion. Others feel very little at all. Emotional numbness can be confusing, particularly when it appears in situations where feeling something would seem expected.

People often worry that numbness means they are disconnected, uncaring, or broken. In reality, numbness is often a protective response.

What emotional numbness is

Emotional numbness involves a reduction in felt emotional experience. People may describe feeling flat, detached, distant, or as if they are watching life from the outside.

This state can be temporary or persistent. It often fluctuates depending on stress, safety, and context.

Dissociation as a protective process

Dissociation is a nervous-system response that reduces emotional or sensory intensity when experiences feel overwhelming.

Rather than engaging with threat, the system creates distance from it. This may involve:

• emotional shutdown
• feeling unreal or disconnected
• difficulty accessing memory or bodily sensation

These responses are not chosen. They occur automatically when engagement feels unsafe.

Why numbness develops

Numbness often develops when emotional expression or connection was met with danger, neglect, or overwhelm. In such environments, dampening emotional experience may have been the safest option available.

Over time, this response can generalise beyond the original context and appear in everyday life.

Why numbness can persist

Numbness can remain even when circumstances change because the nervous system has learned that emotional dampening reduces threat.

People may attempt to “feel more” through effort or pressure, which often increases shutdown rather than reducing it.

The cost of emotional numbness

While numbness protects against pain, it can also limit access to:

• pleasure and interest
• emotional connection
• motivation and meaning

This can lead to a sense of emptiness or disconnection, even in otherwise stable lives.

Understanding numbness without force

Emotional experience cannot be restored through demand or expectation. Numbness often shifts gradually as safety increases and pressure decreases.

Approaches that emphasise pacing, curiosity, and respect for protective responses tend to be more effective than attempts to “break through” numbness.

A balanced understanding

Emotional numbness and dissociation are not failures of emotional capacity. They are signs of a system that learned to survive under particular conditions.

Relating to numbness with patience rather than urgency can support change without overwhelming the system.

Selected Academic Sources

1. van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Penguin.
2. Steele, K., van der Hart, O., & Nijenhuis, E. (2005). Phase-oriented treatment of trauma-related dissociation. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation.
3. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. Norton.
4. Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body. Norton.